The decisions you make about divorce, good or bad, will last long into the future.
Imagine your future grandkids telling your divorce story. How will you be remembered?
“Years from now, how will your grandchildren tell the story of their grandparents’ divorce?” When I heard this during a collaborative law divorce discussion, I thought to myself, “Wow. Very cool.”
It’s a fact the the decisions you make now, good or bad, will have impact on your families for many years to come. When your children observe bad behavior and outcomes it teaches them the wrong things about resolving conflict.
These bad decisions can perpetuate a similar negative outcomes for your kids when dealing with conflict resolution in their future relationships.
In Hollywood and Newport Beach, CA, divorce isn’t just painful, it compromises your personal privacy to a degree that can be humiliating.
With a divorce your assets, debts, income and expenses are laid out in minute detail. In some cases, what was said in a phone call shows up in someone’s declaration and a text message becomes a court exhibit. Add some emotional charge to this, and it’s easy to see how otherwise rational people can allow themselves to digress into behavior that in a year or so they will deeply regret. Ten divorce mistakes to avoid.
A collaborative law divorce bypasses Judges and the overburdened, under funded Family Court system puts control of the final outcome back into your hands. It also prevents the media, and other members of your community, from digging into the details of your private life.
In that context, when we’re at our lowest, it’s a challenge to make the right choices. Do you collaborate or fight?
You know what I mean – the choices we’d be proud to say we made, the ones that aren’t motivated by pain, the ones that reflect our higher selves. Better choices will almost certainly result in less cost, time, stress and negative impact on your children.
Picturing your grandchildren telling your story could be a really useful tool to make those right choices. Seeing ourselves years from now, with the benefit of hindsight and hopefully wisdom, is helpful, and so is the thought that our choices today can have a direct effect on our children and grandchildren’s perspectives, lives, and experiences.
If collaborative divorce isn’t possible, listen to the voices of your future grandkids, how will you be remembered?
During a divorce making good decisions that protect your children and make for the best outcome for all will be remembered long after the divorce process is concluded. When each party hires a trained collaborative lawyer, they can turn a hurtful, self- destructive battle into an acceptable resolution if both parties are willing.
If your divorce proceeds through the Family Courts be aware that almost everything said, including all evidence collected during the proceedings, and the judgement of the court are available in the public record. This is a good reason the seek representation by a Certified Family Lawyer. They are uniquely prepared to help you avoid the mistakes that can impact the outcome of your divorce and protect your families privacy and well being.
