Ten Divorce Mistakes To Avoid
1. DON’T PROCEED UNTIL YOUR OBJECTIVES ARE CLEAR. When you are unclear about what you want, the anxiety can be overwhelming and you can make a bad decision that can’t be undone. We have developed a guided technique, available only with us, to help you identify your goals. We then help you reach those goals and avoid mistakes that affect the outcome of your case.
2. DON’T BE USED AS A DOORMAT. Giving in to your spouse’s head games is a mistake. In a divorce, one person will often bully the other person into getting what they want. Don’t let bullying threats scare you out of doing what’s right for you and your children. We protect you from the threats, and stop the other person’s pressure from affecting your goals.
3. DON’T BRAG ABOUT ANYTHING. Boasting to your spouse about how well you will do in your divorce or how poorly they will do may result in their feeling a need for revenge. We show you how to conduct yourself in a manner that will promote settlement.
4. DON’T GET DISCOURAGED. Divorce is difficult. It is easy to become frustrated and want to give up because it’s hard. You must remember that to get out of this situation, you must go through the process. We help you face this life challenge by using the skills we have developed helping hundreds of others just like you through a difficult time.
5. DON’T USE YOUR LAWYER AS A THERAPIST. While it is important to communicate with your lawyer, it is also tempting to call with every detail about what has transpired. This can be very costly; you may not realize how costly until you see your monthly statement. Ask yourself if what you want to discuss is legal in nature or personal. We understand the emotional aspects of divorce and know that sometimes it helps to talk. We can identify whether your concerns are legal or personal. If it’s personal, we can connect you with a professional who can help you with these issues. Although we will always be there to help you through the legal aspects of this trying time, we recognize what our role is, and is not, in getting you through your divorce with the least financial impact.
6. DON’T EXPECT JUSTICE FROM A COURT. Courts don’t dispense justice, they just make orders. The person in the black robe takes about 5 minutes to become familiar with your case and tries to distinguish it from the 30 other cases in front of them on any given day. When you allow a judge to make the decision, to a certain extent, you give up control of the outcome. We will make sure you are informed of every alternative to keep the control of your case in your hands. We make sure you are thoroughly prepared and know the risks of letting a judge decide an issue.
7. DON’T TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT YOUR DIVORCE. Never, ever, involve your children in your dispute with your spouse. Not only does it hurt your children, but it can and probably will be used against you in court. Don’t use them as a messenger to send communications between you and your spouse. Shelter them as much as possible from the dispute. They are the innocent ones in all of this and how you behave not only affects them today, but teaches them about how adults resolve conflict.
8. DON’T ALLOW YOUR EMOTIONS TO RUN UP YOUR BILL. Letting your decisions be controlled by your emotions or the other person’s actions is a pitfall you want to avoid. Attorneys can assist you with issues that have a basis in law, but court battles are expensive and you cannot litigate the bad attitude out of your spouse. Using your lawyer as a “weapon of mass destruction” will only cause your legal fees to explode and result in loss of control. We help you avoid the danger of allowing anger, resentment, and hurt be the basis of decisions that will only cost you money, frustration, and regret in the end. By giving you perspective into the process of divorce and showing you alternatives to fix the problems you face, you will be able to make getting on with your life a closer reality.
9. DON’T CHOOSE A LAWYER FOR THE WRONG REASON. Don’t be impressed by the flashy website, low cost, promise you anything, “divorce mill.” Choosing the wrong lawyer is an expensive mistake you can’t afford, and making a mistake in the beginning can cost you more than money. If you have to change lawyers because you made a mistake the first time, getting your new attorney “up to speed” will be costly. Choosing our attorneys from the start will ensure you have the experience and expertise you need along with staff that will communicate with you, keep you informed, and respond promptly. You have the security of our service guarantee to assure your needs will be met.
10. DON’T LOSE YOUR INTEGRITY. Divorcing couples feel hurt, betrayed, and experience a loss of trust. These feeling often make people behave badly. It can be difficult to rise above the temptation to cause your spouse pain because you are angry or hurt. You will always be the parent of your children, and so will your spouse. How you behave today affects your children for their lifetime. We care enough about you and the future of your children to be honest with you if you’re about to make a mistake you won’t be able to undo and will regret later. It is our goal to help you through the situation while keeping your integrity in tact. You will feel better when everything is over and you have retained the respect of your children, those around you, and yourself